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Thursday, December 21, 2006

I JUST DON'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT

So I was once again reading the Post on my way into work this morning when the following headline caught my eye: "Hubby Busted in 'Slay Belle' Plot."

The first thought that came to my mind was that whore of a wife he mistakenly married must be a piece of work, CLEARLY. And before you know it, you kind of understand why she's a piece of work as you read on. Apparently, after the cops nabbed the groom (who somehow hired the hitman that just happens to be an undercover cop), they told the wife that she might be swimming with the fish(es) before Christmas had her stupid hubby not found the hitman in a classified ad (probably in the Post). Her reply was: "I don't believe anything they say because I believe my husband." Yea, the same husband that tried to get you whacked. I don't know about you readers out there but I'm definitely thinking the cops botched this one. Do we really need people like this living amongst us? I can't believe there are people this stupid living amongst us. I just don't fucking believe it. Yea bitch, the cops in Nassau, as a part of their traditional Christmas prank, always try to set some guy up for the attempted murder of his wife.

And now let's focus our attention on the good ol hubby. What the hell was this guy thinking? He's got a goldmine here! I mean think about it, this woman he married won't believe he'll ever do any wrong even when presented evidence that he tried to get her whacked in order to collect on the $1 mil life insurance policy. Seriously, that's like a license to cheat. You got to, GOT TO, cash that in.

"Hon, I swear I never touched that bitch!"
"How silly of me, of course you wouldn't."

"You husband gave me herpes."
"My husband would never cheat on me."

"Hon, what are you doing home? I swear, It's not what it looks like."
"Of course, there's got to be an reason why you are naked with a strange woman in our bed that doesn't involve you cheating on me. Let's think of it together."

Seriously, how can you try to whack a wife like that!? What is wrong with this guy? Worse yet, he first tried asking his friend to do it for him. That friend went to the cops. Sidebar, what kind of a friend is that!? Then the cops set up the sting where the undercover cop was given a $2500 deposit that would eventually turn into $200,000 after the life insurance payout. Apparently, this guy was so sick that he ordered the undercover cop to stab her in the heart before Christmas so he could enjoy the holidays. That people, is what true love is. Even sicker, the guy actually brought his 3-year-old son to meet the hitman. "Son, I want you to meet the guy that would make you a motherless child." Who does shit like that!?

Lastly, I think they should let the guy off. Hear me out on this. As his punishment, he would then agree to have a reality show where the America public would see every aspect of their everyday life after this ordeal. Now that's something I'd pay to see.

Well, that's it. Until next time...

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

After a long break from blogging due to better things than sitting at a computer and blogging, I'm back.

I was pestered recently with a string of "save the animals" emails. I got all these pictures of baby seals, foxes, etc. First thought that came to my mind was...damn, those furs would feel sooooo good!!! That was followed by a quick reply all email with the words "FUCK YOU, I LIKE FUR!" in it.

I can't believe the money and effort people are spending to "save" these animals. Afterall, they are just that, ANIMALS. I can think of plenty of things off the top of my head that the money and effort could be better spent on: weed, Iraq, Welfare (don't even get me started on that), raising your damn kids the right way (see previous blogs on hippies and shitheads), boob jobs, face jobs, homeless, schools, and the list goes on.

I can't think of one thing seals are good for besides for being in zoos to entertain humans and yes, FUR! Foxes, same thing. Unlike trees (and I also hate treehuggers), they contribute nothing!!! Seriously, how different would your life be if we didn't have seals or foxes? Yea, exactly!

Moreover, I'm also thinking that a majority of these people owns at least one pair of leather shoes! You know where leather comes from? COWS! You know what that makes those people? Hypocrites! Fucking assholes are telling me not to do soething that they themselves already have done. The nerves of those people!

If anything, the only thing that should be complaining about the loss of seals is Shamu and its fellow killer whales (orcas for you softies). And hell, I haven't heard a peep out of them. Until then, then humans should shut the fuck up! You can do your part by not buying any but don't give me shit for what I choose to do with my money! Fuck you!