RANDOM GRUMBLINGS FROM BROOKLYN

Okay, I apologize for the lack of new posts. Frankly, I've been too busy watching the Mets now that baseball season is under way. If that's not sitting well with you, you're shit out of luck. I'm all you got and there's nothing you could do about it.

I'm thinking of starting a new periodic format called random grumblings. It has come to my attention that there are just days where I don't have a major grinder that would take up a whole entry. However, I get tons of minor grumblings. Therefore, I think I can stack a ton of minor grumblings into one entry if I don't have any major grinders. So here goes:

I think there needs to be a law that requires people (with the exception of bums because they can't help but smell bad) to shower if they want to ride the subway during rush hours. There's nothing worse than a hippie wannabe stanking it up standing next to you on a packed N train 8:15 in the morning. You wanna be a hippie, move the fuck to Vermont! Ben and Jerry might condone that shit but those two fuck don't ride the subway, I do!

We need to get rid of the law preventing parents from beating their kids. Now I'm not condoning child abuse, not in a million years. The simple truth is that some kids need their ass beat for their own good. I just read in the paper a few days ago that 5 kids ranging from 15 to 13 was charged with second degree murder when they tried to beat down a college kid in order to rob him. The college kid tried to run away but found the front end of a Mercedes Benz instead and is now dead. What the fuck is wrong with this world when 13 year old are robbing people on a busy street? Let's ask one of the kids' uncle why his nephew was trying to rob someone..."he's just hanging out with the wrong crowd. He was just trying to impress them." Beautifully said uncle, you deserve an award. I don't know about you but in my days, you impress people by doing stupid shit like letting someone punch you and not flinch. This kid obviously wasn't beat by his parents. Had he been beat, he wouldn't have done what he did. My dad used to beat me whenever I fuck up back in the day and I turned out okay, mostly. It can't be that bad!

Call me out of date but I was just informed by a co-worker (an avid Page 6 reader) of what the beef is between Lindsey Lohan and Hillary Duff: Aaron Carter! WHO? Seriously, two celebrity teenie boppers fighting over the younger brother of an unknown member of the Backstreet Boys (so I was informed)! That's like the mafia having a vendetta against me because I stole their a finger off their most recent hit. Who gives a shit? Worse off, the two teenage cunts do fight it out. Instead, they call each other whores and refuse to go to the same party. Seriously, if you hate one another, call up Tonya Harding and ask her for advice. Just get it over with already. There's nothing worse than a chick feud. At least with Rap feuds you get a win win situation because someone gonna get shot and it's not you...unless you're a bodyguard in which case, can I have your gold chain when you die?

Speaking of gold chains, what is up with men wearing necklaces? I guess it's okay for a gay guy because they got some girl in them. But a straight guy? Come on! That's not manly, unless your name is Mr. T. In that case, you can do anything you want and pity any fool you desire. For the rest of you, get a fucking pedicure to go along with your necklace. And you might as well as cut off your balls while you're at it!