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Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Ever heard of kosher salt!? (Warning: you may and will be offended if you're Jewish)

So last night I decided to brave it and order from Abigael's on Broadway for dinner. For those of you that don't know, Abigael's serves kosher meals. I figured, how bad can it be...(of course, had I at the time remembered the episode of Elaine on the airplane being served the kosher meal, I'd be better off)

So I decided on the BBQ cedar plank salmon. Sounds delicious doesn't it? Yea, "except the exact opposite!" (keep reading) It came in your typical aluminum container that was taped shut (sissors required, literally) which was placed in a nice looking bag that was not only stapled shut but also taped shut. I'm begining to think they've had history where the delivery guy tried to eat the food before (not sure why the delivery guys would subject themselves to that).

Anyways, after 10 minutes of trying to open the bag and the container, I had the first taste of the salmon...it was the blandest meal I've ever had! And I've had people forget to add seasoning to my food before. You can't have the decency to put in some salt after I paid you $18 for the meal (you guys want to hear a Jewish joke)!? I can't believe all these people that gave the place 5 star ratings! You don't find many 5 star ratings on seamless web and I can't think of a reason this place is even a 2 star. WHO would give this place 5 stars!? Oh wait, kosher...=...jews. AH, that made sense.

I have to give it to them, if they rate this place 5 star, imagine what they're used to. THAT, people, is what you call religious devotion! If I were born a Jew...oh boy, let's not even go down that path. (Now I know why Allison (Jewish) is dating Joe (Italian), but I'm still trying to figure out why Joe is dating Allison - no offense you two) Like I understand the whole bless the food deal but I never realize that when you bless it, you also forbid that piece of meat to ever have taste, EVER! So be warned, if you're not kosher Jewish, stay away from kosher food. (You people better appreciate the stuff that I do for you)

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